New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
