We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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