is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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