OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
