I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
