Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
