I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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