So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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