A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
