I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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