Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
