idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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