It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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