I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
