if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
3 2 1 whiskey
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
