I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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