I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
