its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
