My liver just broke up with me...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
