We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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