I wanna bring you to show and tell
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
