I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
