I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
