Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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