I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
