Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
