A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
