you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
