If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
