So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
