Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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