How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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