great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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