She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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