Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Vodka?
Forever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
