No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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