Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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