Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
