it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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