I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
