There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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