dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
