He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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