If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
