He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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