so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
