I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
