omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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