...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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