im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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